You think about it, you dream about it, but you dare not ever bring it up to your significant other – having a threeway. During long-term relationships, it is easy for couples to fall into a rut and partake in the same old vanilla sex, but threeways can be a great way to bring other interesting flavors into the bedroom. Unless you screw it up, that is. The mere mention of a threeway can make your partner think your relationship is in serious trouble when it is not. If you want to rock a threeway, you need to go about it the right way.
How to bring it up, tactfully
Spring the idea of a threeway on your partner after someone catches your eye at a party, and you are in for a definite “no,” as well a long relationship talk when you get home. Instead, start with a classic approach, asking them if they have any sexual fantasies. This is a healthy conversation you should be having anyway, but it will open up some interesting new paths as well as the opportunity for a threeway if you are patient enough. It will require compromise, planning, and a lot of talking, but after couples land on the same page, it is go-time. However, be aware that having a threesome is not for everyone. You could have the charm of James Bond, but some people just aren’t open to it and that is just not something you can force.
Picking the right someone
When having a threesome for the first time, never pick the third-party yourself. That is how relationships end. Let your partner pick out a potential third for the bedroom, or better, pick together. Of course, there is the extremely likely situation that your chosen third will say no, so finding the right person could take a while. Couples may want to start looking for groups on the internet to skip the awkwardness of approaching random people in bars. Ask for pictures, experience, and STI reports from interested parties and have the same ready for yourself. This will make finding the right someone will go faster.
Doing the deed with confidence
Your partner has agreed to it, you have both agreed on a third, and now it is time to actually do it. Are you sure you’re ready? There are now double the bits in the bedroom and you will need to at least help take care of both. The best advice is to not worry about it quite so much. Try to focus equally on both partners and you will end up pleasing none. Have a few drinks with the other participates beforehand (not too many drinks) and let things unfold naturally. For the first time, things will likely be a little weird and awkward, but you won’t know what you want from a threesome until you try.
Once the threeway is done and the third person has left, it is all over, right? Wrong! Any relationship, particularly ones where one partner was reluctant, require a talk after all the shtupping is over. You both need to check in with each other. Did you enjoy it? Did they? Is this something that maybe you both would like to do again? These are questions that need answers. However, even if you both ended up being really into it, after a threeway, you need to spend some time with just each other. Jealousy can be pervasive and appear between a couple before they even realize it. Take some time out just for the two of you before hunting for an exciting new third.