8 Essential Flirting Tips for the Gay Man


If you’re a gay dude, then you’ll probably understand that flirting is tough.

Sure, functionally it’s not all that different than your straight friends flirting with each other, but when it comes to guys flirting with guys, there’s a lot of complications that are easy to overlook. If you want some help, here’s 8 essential flirting tips for the gay man.

  • 1. Triple Check your Gaydar

You’re not always going to be in a situation where you’re positive the man you’re interested in is gay, so jumping in headfirst might not be the best idea. Plenty of straight guys won’t be bothered by the confusion, but it’s best to avoid the awkwardness if you can. After you’re pretty sure you and him are playing for the same team…

  • 2. Make Sure He (And You) Are Comfortable

Some gay guys don’t like to flaunt their sexual interests in certain environments. Don’t be too forward, or physically move the conversation away from others. Make sure you’re comfortable too, if he’s responding by pushing you out of your comfort zone, let him know or get out. With this in mind, an essential rule comes up…

  • 3. NEVER Out Him

This can depend on your environment, but nobody likes having their sexuality publicly outed. Make sure you’re cleverly talking around your advances, or again, physically move the conversation where you’re both comfortable talking about being gay.

  • 4. Get To Know as Much of Him as You Can, as Quick as You Can

After you two are past the awkward initiation phase, you can really start to figure him out. This helps you determine exactly what you want with him, and if you want him at all. You might change your mind.

  • 5. Make Your Intentions Clear as Early as Possible

Whether it’s one night, a romantic interest, or a friendly interest, let him know sooner, rather than later. This lets him respond so you can tell if he’s on the same page, and lets you figure out what options are available to you.

  • 6. Don’t Try to Impress Him

This is a common failure. Attempts to impress flirting targets almost always miss because it comes across as too obvious, and nobody likes that. Just have confidence in yourself, and especially have confidence when you talk about yourself. The impression will come naturally.

  • 7. Let Him Come to You

When the bed is your end goal, regardless of whose it is, make it clear that’s where you want to be and let him come to you. It isn’t fun (for everyone, anyways) to have someones sexual desires pushed onto you, but it is fun to hear their sexual desire and make the choice to engage them.

  • 8. Don’t Get Upset

Just because your advances didn’t work is no reason to throw a temper tantrum. Sometimes the chemistry just won’t match up, but you throw away all of your chances when you get mad. Sometimes, he just needs some more time.

 Keep these in mind and stay vigilant out there!

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