Are You Secretly Into BDSM? Ready to give it a go?

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Being into BDSM is becoming more and more mainstream, but it’s still not something you generally want to bring up at the water cooler. If you are secretly into BDSM  it might be a little tricky to bring it up even in an established relationship with a trusted partner. Whatever you do, do not suddenly spring your desires on your partner in the middle of a hot moment. You don’t want to be going about your normal vanilla foreplay, stop mid-stride and say, “Hey, honey, would you please, please bind me, gag me, and flog me?”

One of the basic tenants of “the lifestyle” is open and honest communications. This is the basis for all BDSM relationships. It helps if you can decide what it is you think you might be into before pursuing anything. Use your imagination to picture yourself in various situations. Do you feel like you are a natural submissive? A natural Domme/Dom?  Is it bondage or discipline, or, perhaps, both? Or are you into pain? Many people find just one narrow aspect of this broad spectrum appealing, and it is vital to your health and safety for you to have some understanding of what the categories are.

If you are serious about giving BDSM a go, look for a “Munch” in your area. Munches are informal gatherings for people to discuss various aspects of BDSM and usually take place at a restaurant.  There are a number of online groups that can help you find one, but be sure to only go to a group that is meeting openly and in public your first time. Alternately, some areas have private clubs that host “membership information” evenings. These can give you access to a variety of toys and people. Go slow, be informed, and have fun!

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