Spanking 101: The Essential Beginner’s Guide

Hand on ass: Spanking for beginners

Does spanking get your juices flowing? You’re not alone. Many people love getting spanked. Fortunately, others like doing the spanking — and some like doing both. Before you dive right in, learn how to ensure everyone has a spanking good time.


Spanking Safety

One piece of advice that you should always follow when it comes to activities so to start lighter than light and go slower than slow. This means your first spanking should be lighter than you think it needs to be, and you should proceed with caution, especially if you’re not to spanking or trying it with a new partner. You can always increase intensity, but you can’t undo the physical damage or broken trust that can occur if you try too much too soon.

Many people recommend starting the spanking with layers: first over pants/skirts, then over undies, then on bare skin.

A safe word helps partners communicate when spankings are too intense and need to stop, slow down or pause. We like the green, yellow, red system. Green means “Go ahead.” Yellow instructs you to proceed with caution, perhaps keeping it only at the same level or decreasing how much you increase intensity with each following blow. Someone saying “Red” means stop immediately. You may regroup and start later, or it might be time for the spanking to stop.

Speaking of safety, some body parts can safely receive a spanking while others can’t. Fleshy parts are ideal for a nice spanking. That’s why the butt and back of the thighs work so well. The fullest part of the backside can take the most pain. The area where the cheeks crease will create the most pain when you sit later.

You might spank your partner’s breasts or genitals, especially if they’re masochistic, but be sure to communicate with them because those spots are more sensitive. You never want to strike an area that’s over unprotected organs, so the stomach and mid-to-lower back are out. Aim properly not to hit the tailbone, which can break when struck.

If you’re using tools for impact play — think of a paddle or riding crop — it’s wise to test them on yourself first. Otherwise, you could use them too forcefully. Remember that wider toys or using the flat of your hand provides a more “thuddy” sensation. Thinner toys are stingy and often more difficult to handle. A cane, for example, is much more intense than a furry paddle.

Spanking Positions

Try any of these positions to spank your partner:

  • Over the knee: the classic. Panties and pants can be dropped to the ankles or skirts and dresses pushed up.
  • Against furniture: similar to over the knee, but your partner kneels against a piece of furniture like the sofa or leans against something taller.
  • All fours: doggie style is the perfect position to assume. Spankers can kneel behind you or deliver blows from the side.
  • Legs up: have your partner lie on the bed or floor and lift their legs before you strike. You might hold their legs up, require them to do so, or tie them so that their legs are high.

Spanking Aftercare

It might not seem like it, but some people may only be able to handle a few minutes of spanking. Remember that pain tolerance increases with arousal so you can combine the two to help your partner take more stimulation.

Beware that spanking can even be an intense workout for your arm so you may want to take a break, switch hands or switch technique from upper hand to lower hand blows.

Skin will turn bright red after spanking. It’s common to see the outline of your hand or the toy you used to strike your partner. Occasionally, skin can break, but you should stop spanking at this point to wash the abrasion and treat it with antibiotics.

While you’ll find soothing balms on the products made specially for use after spanking, most lotions will do the trick, too. Aloe vera is also known for its soothing properties, and many kinksters recommend arnica. Ice can reduce bruising and swelling. If you’ve been spanked intensely, it might be difficult to sit or lie down for a while.

Don’t forget about emotional aftercare. Some people enjoy a gentle cuddle, and some kinksters even like to let the bruises fester so they can peek at them in the mirror aftercare.

Are you ready to try more kinky things? Contact us, and we can provide tips and product recommendations.

2 thoughts on “Spanking 101: The Essential Beginner’s Guide

  • I so appreciate that this guide starts with safety. So many people just dive right in without making precautions.

    Have to disagree with trying spanking toys on yourself first. Yes, try it, but beware that you’ll never hit yourself the same way as someone else does from a different distance and angle. Have you tried a crop on your butt?


    • Great comment. We agree, while testing product on yourself you should always be aware that sensations will vary between partners and use.


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