There’s nothing so hard to pin down as what makes a good kiss. It’s different for everyone; we all have individual preferences that determine how we like to be kissed. But what’s universal is that a kiss can make or break your chances of getting to go further with someone. Let’s break down the basics of what goes into kissing like a pro.
- Consent is key. We can’t believe we have to spell this out, but you should always make sure the person you want to kiss wants to kiss you. Asking for consent doesn’t have to be boring, though, and it can actually be incredibly sexy. “Can I kiss you?” is a powerful phrase. It makes your date wonder what it would be like to kiss you, and you’ve just provided an opportunity to find out. Once you get the go-ahead, kiss away. If your date says no, however, respect that. There’s nothing less sexy than disrespecting someone’s boundaries.
- Start slow. Don’t approach the kiss by slamming your face into your partner’s or immediately shoving your tongue in their mouth. Begin instead with a light, closed mouth kiss. Explore your partner, determining their likes and dislikes as you go. If you want to introduce tongue, for example, do so slowly. Open your mouth a little and gently stroke your partner’s tongue. If they pull away, back off. You don’t have to break the kiss, but try something else. If they reciprocate, you can deepen the kiss. Use that technique to learn how to please your partner. In return, they’ll learn what you like, as well.
- Use your hands. Kissing isn’t just about your lips! It’s about sensation, and that means touching your partner while you kiss. Run your hands through their hair. Grip their waist. Stroke their cheek. When your partner thinks about kissing you later, these sensations will stand out just as much as how your lips felt.
- Read your partner’s body language. It’s a dance, not a race. It takes two to kiss well, and if you’re not picking up what your partner’s putting down, you’ll both have a bad time. If your partner guides your hands, let them. Guide them in turn.