They say that it’s about the journey, and not the destination. But when it comes to your sex life, the destination is a pretty wonderful place. That’s right, we’re talking about the orgasm.
But what do you do when she’s not quite getting there? The first step: recognize that she’s not alone. Only 57% of women report having orgasms with their partner, even though their partners reach the big O 95% of the time.
The good news is, you can help her enjoy both the journey and the destination. The first step is knowing why she’s not getting off. So, without further ado, here are the top five reasons she’s not getting off — and what to do about each.
1. Too much friction.
The wetter the better! Even if you (or your lady) doesn’t seem to have any issue getting the juices flowing, consider adding some lube into your routine. If there’s any dryness down below, friction from your lovemaking can cause disturbingly-named “microtears,” which are microscopic rips in those delicate tissues. Ouch!
Luckily, lube makes sex feel better for everyone involved, and you have a huge selection to choose from. Warming, cooling, tingling, flavored — the list goes on and on! Just remember not to use oil-based lubricants with condoms.
2. A low libido.
Whether because of stress, medication, or just not being in the mood, many women suffer from having a low libido. To fix this, make the extra effort to set the mood and focus on her. If that’s not enough, consider calling in a little outside help, like Sensuva On Natural Libido for Her.
3. Not getting the stimulation just right.
35% of women aren’t getting enough clitoral simulation, according to Mic.com. So how do you give the magic spot the right touch? For some women, you need a little extra spice. Try adding in a toy like the We-Vibe Touch to help send her over the edge.
4. Not enough foreplay.
Did you know that the average woman needs about 20 minutes of playtime before reaching climax? It’s true! So take your time with plenty of foreplay — this is a great opportunity to use that lube and vibrator we were talking about earlier!
5. Nerves or stress.
Anxiety or tension isn’t conducive to a spicy love life! If she’s stressed about work, or nervous about her performance or body, she’ll probably have a hard time orgasming.
Here’s the solution: if she is having a long day or feeling a lot of stress, pamper her like the queen she is! Run her a hot bath (for two, perhaps!) with relaxing bath salts and aromatherapy. Follow it up with a long, sensual massage — you’re guaranteed to have a happy ending of your own!
And if she’s feeling a little down about herself, try treating her to some lingerie that shows her just how much you love the way she looks. You know she’s sexy, so let her know it!