How Do I Get My Partner to Dominate Me?

When you think of BDSM and domination, you may have some preconceived notions. Perhaps you think it’s something for those with tons of gear in their basement, or a perverse activity outside of normal sexuality. However, elements of dominance and submission in sex are incredibly common. Did you know that 65% of women and 53% of men fantasize about being sexually dominated? Similarly, 47% of women and 60% of men fantasize about dominating a partner.

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10 Signs that You’re a Dom at Heart

We are all either dominant or submissive at heart. As lovers, we are either givers or taker. This dynamic shines through in almost every type of relationship, whether we realize it or not. Dominance is a strong personality trait that shines through in many situations. Not sure if you fit as a dominant type?

Without further ado, here are 10 surefire signs that you’re a Dom.

  1. You take charge at restaurants. If there’s trouble with the service, you’re the first to speak up. If your companion is having trouble choosing a wine from the menu, you’re happy to decide for them, based on your understanding of their needs and wants.
  2. You prefer to be on top. All the time. You like controlling the direction of your sexual adventures.
  3. You enjoy making decisions for your partner, for example, if you’re out shopping, this means having the final say on an outfit they are trying on.
  4. You believe in corporal punishment as a perfectly acceptable response to a misbehaving adult.
  5. You’re the first to volunteer to give birthday spankings. If nobody brings it up at a  party, you’ll be around to remind, participate, and supervise.
  6. You love the look of leather, vinyl, chains, handcuffs, and other BDSM gear…on somebody else, preferably your partner. You relish the idea of handcuffing somebody else, but the idea of being handcuffed yourself isn’t very exciting.
  7. When you’re out with your partner, you’re always the one behind the wheel, and nobody dares to try to be a backseat driver while you’re in control.
  8. You are known for having an immense amount of self-control. You love to wait until the time is right for certain things. You know good things come to those who wait, including a well-behaved sub.
  9. You love rules and have a lot of them, and they’re all for everyone else’s good. You like the idea of consequences for disobeying those rules. You don’t hold grudges once the punishment has been meted out.
  10. You’re a great communicator. Even when you are in control, you’re aware of your partners wants and needs and planning ways to tantalize them.

Being a Dom can be a satisfying role both in and out of the bedroom. You don’t have to be a full-fledged Dorian Grey to explore the world of dominance and submission. These ten signs are just a starting point to help you identify your dominant side. If you think you may want to start taking more control as a Dom in the bedroom, start out slowly and read up online about the various ways others  fulfill their desires through BDSM play. For dominant types, it can be immensely satisfying to be the one who takes control in the bedroom. If you’re lucky enough to be partnered with a submissive, they’ll enjoy the power play as well.