Moving in together is a huge step. It is such a dramatic shift from simple dating, and it changes everything; including your sex life. Sex is an important part of your relationship – so how do you save it? Here are 3 reasons why moving in together kills your sex life—and what to do about it.
3. You’re stressed. Moving, sorting your belongings, deciding what’s important, trying to fit two complete lives into one space – that’s stressful. Stress kills your sex drive, which kills your sex life.
What do I do about it? First, talk to your partner honestly. Tell them how stressed you are; chances are, they’re feeling the same way. Then, go do something about it! Leave the responsibilities alone for a while and go have a water gun fight. Play laser tag. Get a couple’s massage. Whatever it takes to get out of your head and recapture the fun!
2. RIP routine. When you were living alone, you had a routine. You knew how long it took for you to get ready for work, how long the commute was, how long your groceries would last. You could binge watch whatever show you wanted and nobody would complain! Even your sex life was part of that routine, and now that you’re thrown off, your brain doesn’t know where to schedule it in.
What do I do about it? Give yourself time. Consciously make a new routine which meets your needs as well as your partner’s. It doesn’t sound romantic, but schedule sex! Make space in your day and your mind to focus on each other. If all else fails, lock the door, get naked, and stare at each other for an hour. Hilarity or sex will surely ensue.
1. You’re forced to confront all the gross, irritating, aggravating parts of your partner. Dating allows you to experience the best the other person has to offer, and offer the best of yourself. Now that you’re living together, there’s nowhere to hide! You’re forced to confront your own disgusting biology, and your partner’s.
What do I do about it? Get over it. Seriously, think of it like this: you are the only one your partner trusts to be close enough to smell, hear, and see his nasty humanity, and vice versa. Choose to find his annoying little quirks endearing. Make an effort to diffuse the situation. Your reaction will determine whether the nitty gritties of humanity will deepen your bond and save your sex life, or drive a wedge between you. Choose wisely!